The Oracle Replies!

The Internet Oracle has answered to the desperate pleas of a graduate student! Check this answer I got today :-D

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:

> Marvellous Oracle, who has never let me down, and always cite relevant sources
> My thesis is due to this friday, and I’m far from finishing reviewing
> it. What do I do? I don’t even remember what feels like to sleep
> anymore.
> Yours truly…

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} The Oracle has pondered your situation with great reverence and concern.
} While the Oracle does not usually finish thesis papers, the Oracle can
} offer suggestions to help with your presentation. If done correctly the
} Oracle promises no one will notice you made up half of your information
} anyway…
} 1. Describe various parts of your thesis using interpretive dance.
} 2. Hire Sylvia Browne to dim the lights, instruct everyone to hold hands,
} and channel the spirit of Lord Kelvin.
} 3. Hold a Tupperware party. Every $50 purchase earns a free gift.
} 4. Smoke machines, dramatic lighting, pyrotechnics…
} 5. Present your entire talk in iambic pentameter.
} 6. Defense by proxy.
} 7. When asked your excuse for not completing your thesis, challenge your
} professor to a duel, feigning an insult to your family honor. Slapping
} him with a glove is optional.
} 8. Invoke, “By the power of Greyskull…”
} 9. Wear clown makeup, a clown wig, a clown nose, clown shoes. And
} nothing else.
} 10. Do your entire defense operatically.
} You owe the internet oracle a private performance of one of these
} suggestions.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.